Dating can be nerve-wracking. But if you’re a Campaigner (ENFP), chances are you find it a bit exhilarating too. People with the Campaigner personality type are all about connecting – and dating can be the perfect time to get to know another person’s hopes and dreams and likes and dislikes – all the little things that make them fully themselves.
As a Campaigner personality, you bring many strengths to the realm of dating – your warmth, your positivity, your generosity, and your overall goodwill. But that doesn’t mean that you’ll never encounter mishaps, miscommunications, or less-than-ideal circumstances.
That’s why we at 16Personalities created The Campaigner (ENFP) Guide to Dating. Filled with our best insights into how Campaigners behave in the dating world, this guide will show you how to use your unique gifts and minimize the risk of misunderstandings at every stage of the dating process – from the early days of a new crush to asking someone out and even breakups.
Get your copy of The Campaigner Guide to Dating →
Without further ado, here are three tips for Campaigners from The Campaigner Guide to Dating.
Tip #1: Don’t Ask Someone Out in Front of a Crowd
As a Campaigner personality type, you let your heart guide your actions. This can be a beautiful thing – but it may also lead you to ask someone out the moment that you feel inspired to do so, even if the timing isn’t great.
Now, if you’ve just met someone who’s about to board a train for the other side of the country, it may be necessary to act with haste. But in most instances, you’ll have better chances of success if you plan a little, so that you can ask someone out in an environment that’s comfortable for both of you.
One key tip? If at all possible, avoid asking someone out in front of other people – even (or perhaps especially!) people they know. The person you’re asking out may become uncomfortable if they feel that they’re being watched or overheard during this conversation.
Even worse, you also risk having your intentions misunderstood when you ask someone out in front of a crowd. The person might think that you’re trying to make it particularly difficult or awkward for them to turn you down. So make an effort to have this conversation privately – or, at least, in a place where the other person doesn’t feel as if they’re under a microscope.
Tip #2: Use Your Listening Superpowers
This tip is for your first date and the early stages of a blossoming relationship. As a Campaigner personality, you have a talent for drawing people out of their shells. To the rest of us, this can seem like magic. And, sure, maybe it is a little magical – but at its heart, it’s about asking thoughtful questions and, just as important, listening carefully to the other person’s responses.
Especially if you get some first-date jitters, it’s easy to fall into the trap of worrying so much about saying the “right” thing that you forget to create opportunities for the other person to share. That’s why first dates are the perfect opportunity for you to put your Campaigner listening superpowers to work. If you find yourself getting caught up in your thoughts, take a breath and remind yourself to use your innate sensitivity, empathy, and attunement to get your date talking about the subjects that light them up.
Tip #3: Don’t Delay the Inevitable
This is a tough one. People with the Campaigner personality type are known for their deep empathy, so chances are you absolutely hate to hurt anyone’s feelings. This is understandable, but it may mean that you sometimes put off ending a relationship that just isn’t working because you don’t want to let the other person down.
You strive to see the best in people, so you can most likely list all sorts of positive traits about the person you’re dating. But what if you just don’t feel a spark? What if you don’t enjoy your time with that person as much as you feel that you “should”? What if the relationship makes you feel vaguely tired and guilty, instead of excited and understood?
No relationship is perfect, but not every imperfect relationship is meant to be. It may seem kinder to hang on and keep giving things a chance, but that can be counterproductive. Ending things is hard – but it’s often kinder than keeping someone’s hopes up and allowing them to become more attached than they already are. That way, you can both move on.
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Dating isn’t easy – but it can be an enjoyable, energizing process that allows you to connect with new people and maybe, just maybe, welcome the beginning of a beautiful new relationship.
If this article has piqued your curiosity for more Campaigner-specific insights and guidance, be sure to check out The Campaigner Guide to Dating. We at 16Personalities have put our hearts and souls into this project (along with a healthy dose of research!) to make sure that it’s an inspiring and helpful resource for Campaigners like you.