6 Romantic Stats about Couples and Personality

Can data be romantic? If it’s about romance, yes, and if you like knowledge, data from our “Romance” survey for couples might be downright alluring. Whether you’re single or attached, it’s interesting to see how personality types relate to romantic relationships. So, without further ado, let’s dive into a few highlights of what people have told us. If you want to see all the survey questions and data, click the link above to take the survey for yourself. Let’s go!

You know, the most relevant stat regarding this question might be that about 1 in 4 people don’t know their partner’s personality type. That’s a shame, because personality type theory can give you amazing insights into your partner – or someone you’re interested in if you’re seeking romance. Why not take advantage of our awesome resources like this, this, and this? (You’re welcome.)

There’s a bit of contrast here between the highest and lowest agreement rates. Protagonists (ENFJs) are on top with about 7 out of 10 agreeing, while Architects (INTJs), Logicians (INTPs), Defenders (ISFJs), and Virtuosos (ISTPs) are on the bottom with almost half agreeing. According to the overall average, almost 60% of relationships are very passionate and intense. Is that true, or is it a matter of perception? And are very intense and passionate relationships better? We’d love to hear your opinions in the comments below.

The statistical differences above indicate that Extraversion and the Feeling trait correlate to likely agreement, which makes sense. Extraverts tend to be more expressive and focused on interpersonal interactions than Introverts, and Feeling personality types are often more emotionally open than Thinking personalities. That can be a recipe for romantic dynamism, if not necessarily a better relationship overall. Virtues like steadfastness and calm rationality are also important in a relationship. (Very important, at times.)

Personally, I find it reassuring that overall agreement with this one is in the minority. Arguing too much can put stress on a relationship.

On the other hand, it’s not exactly healthy to suppress disagreements, and arguments don’t necessarily include anger or hurt. Arguments that are conducted respectfully and help resolve a problem are a fantastic relationship skill to practice. It can be tricky to share a difference of opinion with a romantic partner, but honest communication is critical, and it’s unrealistic (and unfair) to think that people in love should always agree.

Perhaps it’s no surprise that three of the four personalities most likely to agree are ones known for sharing forceful opinions. Commanders (ENTJs), Debaters (ENTPs), and Executives (ESTJs) aren’t exactly shy when it comes to arguing. Entertainers (ESFPs) may not be as comfortable with social conflict as those other types, but a sizable minority also tend to agree, perhaps because they are expressive, spontaneous people by nature. They’d prefer a positive interaction but aren’t often constrained by decorum – or anything else. Let’s see what’s next.

Aww, isn’t that overall majority agreement sweet? Yet there’s a notable gap between the types most and least likely to say they are or plan to get married. Just a tad more than half of Debaters and Virtuosos agree, which is far below the agreement rates of Commanders, Logisticians (ISTJs), and Defenders. That says a lot about how differently some personality types approach love. I know, you’re probably raising an eyebrow and thinking that some personality types aren’t as likely to commit, but hang on there, Dr. Phil – don’t make any assumptions.

Some personality types aren’t big fans of structure, labels, or tradition. In fact, they get a little kick out of going against convention, and that contrarian streak can affect their views on cultural institutions like marriage. But that doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with the capacity to commit to someone they love. For example, Debaters and Virtuosos often have an opportunistic mindset, and they value life’s rewards and benefits. Love is no different, and their desire and loyalty can be as heartfelt as any type’s, whether or not they show it formally.

Here we’re comparing responses through the lens of the Strategies. It seems that the Identity traits have a big influence on how comfortable people are with their partner going out without them. Confident Individualists and People Masters usually find it easier to remain emotionally secure on their own, even when they’re in a romantic relationship. It may be that that attitude works in reverse, making them more secure when their partner is off doing their own thing.

Of course, when you combine the groups answering “somewhat comfortable” with those who say “very comfortable,” it’s apparent that a strong majority of all personality types are reasonably secure about their partner’s independent adventures. It’s likely that agreement with this question isn’t just about personal insecurity but also about the trust that two individuals can build. Even the most worried and doubt-prone personality types can be reassured by the love and honesty in their romantic relationship, and that’s a wonderful thing.

There’s another facet of relationships that seems like a bit of an elephant in the room, so we asked about it.

The personality Role groups all have similar agreement rates, but that’s not so among individual personality types. For example, there’s a roughly 20-point gap between the types most and least likely to say “very satisfied.” Two personality types are nearly tied in being the most likely to say “very unsatisfied,” and one type stands out as most likely to say “very satisfied.”

Want to see that detailed information and more? It’s free and easy to take our personality test and join our site. Then, you can take the survey for yourself and access the current results.

Is it possible that the personality types most likely to be satisfied with their sex life are also likely to ensure that satisfaction is mutual for their partner? That’s far from certain, but what’s much more probable is that there’s going to be a surge in people taking this survey right after this article is published. (*wink*)

Conclusions

A great way to end this look at factual survey data is to remind you of positive potential. Personality type theory is an amazing tool to help you form and maintain a happy, healthy romantic relationship. But that doesn’t mean judging people or making assumptions about compatibility based on group statistics. There are no incompatible personality types in romance – just many fascinating ways in which traits can combine and play off of one other.

We’d love to hear from you about personality contrasts between you and a romantic partner, whether former or current. What traits created conflict, and which differences brought joy? Let us know in the comments below.

Conclusions

Further Reading