A Mediator’s (INFP) Paradox: How Laziness Can Spark Productivity

Ask a Mediator (INFP) personality type about their ideal day, and it will likely include quiet time, self-reflection, artistic activities, a moment for deep connection with friends, and a peaceful walk in nature. They might bring up just sitting in their comfy chair and contemplating life, the world order, and all that comes in between. Some Mediators might even mention their work, if they’ve found their calling. Engaging in purposeful work that aligns with their values and helps them help others can satisfy their desire to have a positive impact on the world.

However, among all personality types, Mediators are the least likely to find their career to be the most important thing in their lives, according to our “Careers” survey.

In a society that highly values careers, Mediators find themselves caught in a game of tug-of-war. On one side of the rope, they cherish their quiet moments, connection with nature, and deep bonds with their friends. It’s during these moments that they find their glimpses of creativity and genius – the very moments that people with this personality type live for. It’s in these instances of serenity and true connection that bursts of insight, new ideas, and different perspectives are explored and discovered.

On the other side of the rope, Mediators find the expectations of society that they like to live up to – a society that is focused on productivity, climbing career ladders, and calendars that are filled to the brim. All this can increase the pressure to take on more than Mediator personalities would like to handle.

These demands that Mediators want to live up to – if not exceed – pull them in one direction relentlessly, while quiet solitude tugs on the other end of the rope. This article explores whether there’s a way to release this tension, as dropping either side of the tug-of-war rope does not seem like a realistic option for Mediators.

The Tug-of-War Dilemma

Meeting society’s productivity demands can be taxing for Mediators. When asked in our “Self-Motivation” survey whether accomplishing many tasks in one day makes them feel drained, Mediators are more likely than any other personality type to say yes.

Yet most bosses and managers expect their employees to keep at it, each and every day. They were hired to complete to-do lists, after all. But it’s in the quiet moments that Mediators’ creativity flourishes – and given that it’s one of their strengths, this creativity is presumably one of the main reasons why they were hired. It’s in those quiet moments that they’ll note down new ideas for that big, important project or envision innovative solutions to a problem that has been bugging the company for a long while now.

The “problem” is that this all happens within the confines of Mediators’ inner world. Outsiders aren’t privy to any of it, and all they see is someone sitting, possibly gazing out the window. And when you’re sitting around “doing nothing,” you could just as well take on a new task, right?

While the world may perceive Mediators’ contemplative moments as laziness, for Mediators, they’re essential to living a thriving life and creating success in their career. In this continuous clash between the expectations of the outer world and the richness of their own inner world, Mediator personality types often find themselves stuck in the middle.

The Exhaustion of To-Do Lists

Mediators are personality types who are open to exploring new ways of doing things, so it isn’t surprising when they dive into productivity tips to figure out how they can better meet their employer’s expectations. Very likely, one of those tips is to create a step-by-step plan: “Plan the work, work the plan.”

A detailed plan helps most people establish structure and create a clear overview for their day, week, or month. However, for some people, including Mediator personalities, a plan can also lead to stress – the opposite of its intended purpose. They look at it as a never-ending list. Tick one item off the to-do list and the next one appears. Mediators are the most likely personality type to tell us that they often feel overwhelmed by their to-do list.

The rigid nature of a meticulously planned day can feel constraining, leaving no room for spontaneity or intellectual exploration. While completing tasks on a list creates a sense of accomplishment for most personalities, it comes with an emotional toll for Mediators. They don’t want to just be ticking items off their list – they want to pour their heart into their tasks.

Plus, people with this personality type prefer to take time to consider, review, and revise their work, and they don’t love tight deadlines. Without these deadlines, though, they might get stuck in the “reviewing and reconsidering” stage. It’s no wonder that, by the time their workday is over, they are emotionally drained.

Embracing Lazy Moments

Coming home exhausted, it makes sense that Mediator personalities need time to recuperate. Amid the bustling pace of modern life, there is a wish within the hearts of most Mediators for more moments of laziness – to create a moment of stillness in the chaos that is life. This pausing is not meant to be a way to get out of responsibilities or to disengage from life, but rather to harness the stillness, to recharge. To create space in their mind again, to open up room to explore, to contemplate, and to think.

In a world that is so focused on constant activity, it may seem counterintuitive to actually embrace those moments of laziness. However, for Mediator personalities, these moments are not about avoidance or procrastination – at least, most of the time they are not. (We’ll dive into those other moments below.) When Mediators find themselves on their couch with a cup of tea and a good book or just simply staring out the window, they’re not wasting time – they’re actually engaging in a form of mental activity. And as they’re actively engaging their mind, they, by definition, cannot be lazy.

In a way, these moments of peace and quiet serve as a mental reset button for Mediators. By removing the negative connotations that are often tied to laziness, Mediators can release some of the stranglehold that the tug-of-war game has on them. It’s in these pauses that Mediator personalities can fully appreciate the world’s beauty, discovering inspiration in the small details that might otherwise go unnoticed. Embracing rest allows Mediators to release some of the tension that comes with thinking that they are unable to meet the world’s expectations. This realization shows that embracing rest – which is so often perceived as laziness – can serve as a catalyst for positive change.

For a closer look at reframing the idea of laziness, see our article “Breaking the Chains of Laziness: A Fresh Perspective.”

When Laziness Turns into Avoidance and Disengagement

To make matters complicated, the line between resetting and giving in is fine. The allure of comfortable solitude, peace, and quiet can become so enticing that it morphs into a trap that Mediators cannot find their way out of. What starts as a much-needed break to recuperate can become a hesitation to resume the to-do list. When the moments of contemplation turn into a reluctance to face reality, it’s a sign that the balance has shifted from rest to avoidance.

It’s important for Mediator personalities to recognize when their moments of introspection and deep thought no longer provide a healthy recharge and inspiration but instead turn into a way to evade responsibilities. That which was just perceived as laziness actually becomes true laziness.

Recognizing this subtle shift requires a good amount of self-awareness. Ironically, Mediators would need a quiet moment of introspection to cultivate that. A clear first sign that Mediators have slipped over the line of resetting into laziness is when they begin avoiding tasks that they once enjoyed or find themselves delaying important commitments. That’s the moment when boundaries might become helpful, to create a schedule that allows for dedicated periods of reflection yet prevents Mediators from slipping into disengaged quietude.

Turning Laziness into a Creative Advantage

Instead of berating themselves for slipping and avoiding tasks, Mediators can view these moments as opportunities for growth and self-development. By acknowledging them first and accepting them second, Mediators can cultivate these moments into opportunities for creativity and innovation. When Mediators work toward recognizing these “slips” in the moment, they can start redirecting their energy.

Establishing routines that include both intentional stillness and purposeful action, as well as setting clear intentions for their moments of introspection, can be key to active engagement. By ensuring that these quiet moments do not overshadow their commitments, Mediators can enjoy the benefits of mental recharging and exploration without giving in to laziness.

Creative endeavors, such as painting, drawing, writing, or simply brainstorming ideas, can be a novel way to engage in activities that tap into the wellspring of inspiration. Everyone will benefit when Mediator personalities strike that balance between idleness and productivity just right.

Shifting Perspectives

Playing the game of tug-of-war can be fun – for a while. Until your muscles tense up, you get exhausted, and one side of the rope ends up on the floor, defeated. For Mediators, it may feel like the game never stops. One moment they’re trying to be the best at what they do and exceed expectations, and the next moment all they long for is to just sit and think. Neither side ever wins.

A completely new way of looking at it would be to drop this particular analogy altogether. Instead of feeling torn between the two seemingly opposing forces, Mediators can learn to embrace both aspects of their personality as complementary partners – a tandem bicycle, if you will. They go fastest when both partners cycle as hard as they can, but there’s still forward movement when one of them needs a break. Each rider brings their unique strengths and qualities to the journey. One of them navigates, the other one powers.

When it’s needed, Mediators can tap into their focused and ambitious side, pedaling hard to exceed those expectations at work and in life. This doesn’t mean that they have to give in to the overwhelming pressure to work themselves to exhaustion. They know when to tap into their power to face the steep slopes and can rely confidently on their ability to do so. Afterward, Mediators can relax, taking time to reflect, explore, and ideate, resting securely in the knowledge that they’re being guided in the right direction by the navigator.

A tandem bicycle is not a battle between two sides like a game of tug-of-war. The bicycle requires a coordinated effort with the same goal in mind. When Mediators can find the rhythm between their active and contemplative parts, they become unstoppable.

Embracing their multifaceted nature may be a departure from the straight lines that our society values, but Mediator personalities know how to flourish in complexity. And if they can apply this approach, people with this personality type will create a purposeful impact – whether through their career or through their life.

Have you embraced the tandem bicycle yet, or are you playing the tug-of-war game? Let us know in the comments!