Mother’s Day is a time to recognize gestures big and small that a mother figure in our lives has contributed to our growth and well-being, to celebrate someone we love for the simple fact that we love them. In that spirit, this Mother’s Day, I, your venerable Writing Team Lead here at 16Personalities, decided to take a different approach to the holiday by sharing a personal experience with you.
I wanted to accomplish this by sharing a memory from when I was a child. It’s a positive memory that I believe shaped my mindset forever, opening this cerebral and reserved (even as a child) Logician (INTP) to the empathy, calm, love, and infinity of time that Mediators (INFPs) like my mother are known to experience.
Becoming the Deer
One summer afternoon, when I was about five, I rose from my nap earlier than my siblings, as I so often did. The house was quiet, so I stepped outside to find my mother. As I emerged into the balmy, forested land, I found her meditating on a blanket. I hesitated for a moment, but she sensed me and gestured for me to sit with her, and I did.
As I settled in, imitating her crossed legs, she gently guided me:
“Close your eyes, softly.” A long pause. “What do you see in your mind?”
“A deer under a tree,” I said, with an air of curiosity.
“That’s wonderful. And what do you think it’s like to be that deer?”
It was a question that shows the sort of gifted insight that a Mediator is likely to share, and with all the earnestness of a young child, I projected myself into that life. I felt the warm air, tasted the leaves, sensed the danger of predators, the fleeting skittishness. I slowly described this to my mother as I experienced it.
I felt her consider my experience, but she didn’t question it. Instead, she continued:
“Now, what’s it like to be that tree that the deer is under?”
With the prompt, I felt myself shift into that mighty being: grand, tall, the breeze bending my boughs, nourished by the sun. I felt time differently, witnessing lifetimes in seconds, and truly that deer was a fleeting moment for a life-form that had endured centuries. It was all a feeling, captured in but a few moments, but I felt myself growing into that strength and patience.
We sat in silence for a time, and our meditation came to a close. I felt peace and wonder at the world around me.
A Lasting Gift
Over the years, I’ve returned to this practice – not formally, with a sit-down meditation, but as a way of thinking. It’s at once wondrous and fantastic yet grounding and reassuring.
I’ve been the river, the mountain, the proton. I’ve been my bully, my partner, a stranger who cut me off in traffic. I’ve learned that my perspective, my timeline, my worldview, my beliefs – they aren’t the only ones in this universe. With that, even in frustration, I feel love and acceptance and forgiveness.
All this was gained from a few minutes of childhood meditation with my mother. I am more tolerant, more open, and I love far more deeply and widely than I otherwise would because she shared with me what it was like to step outside of my narrow experience and into all that exists. Perhaps that’s why I’m drawn to studying personality type theory. In each type I see a wondrous life from a new perspective, and it brings me joy to share that with the world.
I love you, Mom. And I encourage you, dear reader, to step outside of your life and to feel love for that which is newly understood. Do you have a positive memory of your own to share? We’d love to experience it in the comments below.
Further Reading
- Gifts Mothers Give, According to Personality Type
- The Best Presents for Mother’s Day
- Hidden Talents: The Unexpected Strengths of Each Personality Type
- To learn more about parent-child relationships for your personality type, check out your premium Guide to Relationships.