If you’ve ever known a Defender (ISFJ) – and chances are you have – you’ll know that people with this personality type are incredibly hardworking, thoughtful, and reliable. These words are not simply adjectives but rather key attributes that capture the very essence of this personality type.
Defenders tend to build their sense of identity around values such as these. Responsible yet unassuming, people with this personality type base a large part of their confidence and self-esteem on their ability to support the people around them.
It’s no wonder, then, that Defenders have a strong tendency to carry a mental load that evokes the image of Atlas holding up the sphere of the celestial heavens for all eternity.
Okay, that’s a bit of a strong analogy, but it’s not far off.
People with this personality type care deeply about their friends and families and want to make life as enjoyable as possible for everyone. This is core to their tendency to shoulder a lot, which they mostly do without even thinking about it. Almost as if they possess a subconscious superpower, Defenders have an innate way of knowing what needs to be done, and then they do it.
Mental load is the everyday thinking required to keep your life on track. It is the invisible cognitive workout behind everything you do. At home, at school, or on the job – you can’t escape it. As we discussed in this article, a person’s ability to handle their mental load has a lot to do with their personality traits.
Unlike other Judging personality types, Defenders are not necessarily driven to sit down and plan out everything that needs doing in a day. Sure, they may write out a to-do list, but those Observant and Feeling traits of theirs guide them to instinctively take care of their responsibilities and attend to all the mundane details that keep things moving along smoothly.
A Defender’s mental load covers every facet of their life, including matters of the home, finances, and the workplace. Obscure details, such as a coworker's birthday, share mental space with everyday tasks like making sure that the house is in order. People with this personality type will even dedicate part of their cognitive workout to what other types might consider to be less practical considerations, like making sure that their friends get home safe after an evening visit.
The Cost of Conscientiousness
One of the things that defines Defenders is the fact that they are so darn humble. If you ask them, they’ll most likely deny that they are taking on more than anyone else around them. They seem to genuinely enjoy attending to their responsibilities – more so than any other Introverted personality type – and are unlikely to call attention to or expect recognition for all that they do.
And this is where we run into the unfortunate downside of their impressive ability to carry an oversize mental load.
Sometimes staying on top of everything can become a burden that’s incredibly hard to bear.
Unfortunately, this happens a lot to Defenders. Thanks to their Introverted tendency to not ask for help, people with this personality type are no strangers to feeling burned out and overwhelmed. In fact, of all the Sentinels (who generally feel like they have a handle on the challenges of day-to-day life), Defenders are the most likely type to feel drained and stressed out.
If there is one thing that Defenders truly struggle with, it’s disappointing other people. Even if they make honest efforts to avoid taking on new responsibilities, it’s challenging for them to say no if someone asks anything of them.
Aside from that, if they make a mistake or something doesn’t go as planned, they’ll most likely hold themselves personally responsible. They can be quite unforgiving of themselves and have a tendency to ruminate on what they perceive to be the failure to live up to both their expectations for themselves and, more painfully, the expectations of others.
The Weight of Responsibility
Because of their affinity for responsibility, Defenders create oversize mental loads without even being aware of it. And if they are not mindful of how this impacts them, they can easily come to feel like they are carrying the weight of the world (or the heavens).
If you’re a Defender, how much of an influence does your sense of responsibility have on your mental load? Comment below.
Further Reading
- How I Tackle Stress as a Defender (ISFJ)
- The 5 Biggest Myths about Defenders (ISFJs) That I’ve Encountered
Introvert Health Check: Are You Getting the Downtime You Need?
- See how you handle responsibility compared to other personality types by taking the “Responsibility” survey.