Feeling Personality Types: Are You Sacrificing Your Career to Be “Nice”?

Achieving success in the workplace isn’t always easy, regardless of your personality type. There are a lot of factors, some beyond your control. Yet you have a lot of power – how you behave and the decisions that you make can make a big difference to your success. But is success your main priority?

What if you and a friend were up for the same promotion? How hard would you try to get it, knowing that your success would come at the expense of your friend’s? Would you put yourself first? Would that be selfish? The answers may depend partly on your personality type.

When asked how often they act selfishly, Feeling personality types are more likely to say “rarely” or “very rarely,” while Thinking types are more likely to say “often” or “very often.” The most likely answer of either personality type is “occasionally,” but overall, the difference is clear. Why is that? Feelings themselves may be the reason.

People with the Feeling trait are more likely to express emotion, use it in their decision-making, and care about others’ emotions. Those with the Turbulent trait are more likely to experience emotional volatility, possibly making it more likely for them to express emotional behaviors intensely. Combined, these tendencies can be a recipe for guilt – Feeling personalities may be less likely to act selfishly because it’s more likely to make them feel bad.

Social factors probably play a big part – Feeling types may have strong challenge-oriented ambition, but they are less comfortable competing against other people. For example, about half of Feeling personalities agree that a competitive mindset is important to succeed in life (versus almost three-quarters of Thinking types). Yet only one quarter of Feeling types say they’re more competitive than others (compared to more than half of Thinking types).

My point here is that, broadly speaking, Feeling personalities may be less likely to put themselves first when it comes to career advancement and professional success. That can mean missed opportunities and rewards. Should Feeling personalities be more selfish for the sake of success? Maybe, maybe not. There are many paths to success – and forms of success.

Different Rewards

The fact that Feeling personalities are more likely to feel bad when they act selfishly has a flip side – they often feel strong internal rewards for being generous and creating emotional harmony. That can imbue their professional lives with satisfaction and joy, and for some people, those rewards may be just as important as status or financial gain. What portion of your wages would you sacrifice if it meant that your days at work were happy? The answer is highly individual – but the idea of valuing emotional rewards in one’s professional life is far from unreasonable.

Being unselfish also tends to foster genuine human connections, which can open many doors to success. Excellent performance is likely to be a key part of achieving success, but creating and maintaining warm, caring relationships at work is very valuable and can even boost performance. Investment in cooperation, motivation, and morale significantly affects the workday and the end results that people achieve.

A person who cares about the well-being and feelings of the group may ultimately contribute as much (if not more) to their workplace productivity than someone who focuses mainly on technical or self-oriented benchmarks. How different kinds of contributions are valued and rewarded may depend on the workplace, but in general, Feeling personalities’ unselfish side represents an asset.

What Counts as Being Selfish?

Thinking in terms of being selfish or unselfish is simplistic and limiting. The basic definition of selfish is “concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself, seeking or concentrating on one’s own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others.” Notice those key terms – “excessively or exclusively” and “without regard.” Nowhere does that definition say that putting yourself first is selfish. It’s a matter of degree.

What if you saw yourself as deserving of success and gave yourself permission to pursue it with your full mind and heart? It’s possible to sometimes put yourself first without being selfish and to prioritize yourself and still care greatly about others. And if there was ever an appropriate context to put yourself first, your professional life is it.

Where does your obligation to others end? That’s something that you’ll have to answer for yourself. But the workplace can be a hard-edged environment with limited resources and opportunities, and being squeamish about ever putting yourself first is risky. It’s not wrong to choose generosity over personal gain, but you may want to think hard before passing up any opportunities for success.

Chances are you work hard to be your best self, and when a reward – or a chance to flex your awesomeness – comes your way, embracing it is the natural completion of that cycle of effort and intent. You owe it to yourself to achieve what you can without guilt.

Further Reading

• Self-Interest and Personality Type Part I: Looking Out for Number One
• Self-Interest and Personality Type Part II: The Guilt Factor
• 6 Work Personas You Can Do Without
• Discover what your Premium Profile has to teach you about your personality.