Going out and doing things together as a couple is a common but important part of a romantic relationship, regardless of personality type. Fun activities are a context for new love to bloom and for established partners to refresh their connection. Even utilitarian outings may accomplish important objectives for a couple. Today, I’ll explore some ways that the Tactics personality traits – Judging and Prospecting – can affect how a couple engages in activities together.
Those traits relate to how we approach planning, organization, adaptation, and spontaneity, among other things. But being similar doesn’t necessarily mean that a couple will mesh well, as it may reinforce some downsides of their traits. Let’s look at a few of the most likely probabilities and think about how different couples can use their traits to be happier.
Two Judging Partners
Judging personalities share a similarly notable value for organization and structure, as well as defined boundaries. They seek to prepare in advance and feel most comfortable when things turn out according to their expectations – the unexpected may feel like something to overcome more than embrace. Two such people will probably put a lot of effort into crafting and sticking to a plan for a date or an outing.
And that can work out very well most of the time, as they’ll appreciate each other’s focused approach and reliability. One potential downside is that when they find things they like, they can get stuck in a rut, preferring familiar fun over trying something that seems too foreign. Another downside is that it may be uncomfortable for them to accommodate each other’s differing preferences – and there are always some.
Relaxing their individual expectations often helps these personality types have more fun, allowing them to expand their horizons, stay in the moment, and comfortably handle the unknown. This doesn’t just let them uncover new excitement together – they may also become more accepting of each other’s individual tastes.
Tip: Because you both prefer things to go as planned, double-check that your plans are realistic. Practice objective awareness of both your own capabilities and external factors. For example, incorrectly assuming how long a hike will take could mess up your dinner plans – or force you to rush what should be a peaceful outdoor experience. Give yourself comfortable margins when possible.
Two Prospecting Partners
Prospecting personalities place relatively little value on predictability, often enjoying the unknown and able to change directions deftly and cheerfully. In fact, the idea of something new usually enthuses them, and two such people will probably enjoy exploring unfamiliar activities and places together. They don’t always need a plan to have fun.
But, of course, not putting much focus on details and planning can have a downside. It’s no fun when your date is late or when mutual hopes are dashed by obstacles that no one bothered to prepare for. It’s one thing to stay loose but another to wander haphazardly, and too little organization can result in wasted energy and stress.
Fun itself can give these personality types a reason to invest some energy in planning and personal follow-through, especially when one of them is depending on the other. They’ll both appreciate the positive outcomes that spring from a modest amount of structure – just enough to get what they want and not feel restricted.
Tip: Accept with good humor that a certain amount of imprecision will always be part of your plans together. You can certainly evolve your habits if they don’t work for you, but having a mutually forgiving attitude about your natures helps ensure that your time together is fun despite any chaos.
A Judging Partner and a Prospecting Partner
While their different habits and styles of doing things can be obvious to these personalities, it may not be a bad thing. If they’re open to each other, they have a chance to gain the best of both worlds, one bringing elements of structure and linear foresight, and the other injecting exciting, fresh spontaneity into the relationship.
It’s best if both individuals are willing to accept each other’s habits, compromise some of the time, and reward each other for trying to grow or being accommodating. Examples include Judging types being patient when their partners are untimely or forgetful and Prospecting types being patient when their partners are struggling to handle sudden changes.
One method that can work well for this couple is dividing aspects of an outing or activity between them, as best suits their personality traits. Prospecting types might uncover exciting ideas that wouldn’t occur to Judging types, who in turn can work out a realistic plan to make them happen. Likewise, Judging types might generally steer a plan, with Prospecting partners using their flexibility and tolerance for the unknown to jump in and help if things go awry.
Tip: Remember that while your methods might differ, you’re working toward the same goal of shared enjoyment, whether it’s a dinner date infused with cheerful flirting or a long road trip to visit family. Making pleasant possibilities a reality is your motivation to accept each other’s different approaches and habits.
Conclusions
Respect is a core quality that can help ensure that any plan, from a long-awaited romantic interlude to grocery shopping together, is rewarding for both partners. Everyone is unique, and recognizing and respecting each other’s personality traits is a great way to show your love. When someone feels respected, they’re far more likely to be willing to step outside their comfort zone for the sake of their partner. When dating or in a relationship, that’s a step in the right direction.
Further Reading
- Not sure what your partner’s personality type is? Invite them to take our free test, or if you can’t, use our Type Guesser to try to figure it out for yourself!
- Interested in a deeper exploration of your relationship? Our premium Tools and Assessments for relationships can give you amazing insights.
- Explore our Romance and Personal Growth articles to learn how your personality type can affect your life – and get advice to make your world even brighter.