If you’re an Introverted personality type, chances are your life doesn’t much resemble common stereotypes about Introverts. You probably don’t stay home alone all of the time. Instead, you go to school or work, do fun things with your friends, spend time with family, and explore and engage with the world in various ways. It’s also likely that you have responsibilities related to all of those things that take up a lot of your time and energy. Life can get very busy.
That may be a good thing, but it can also be tiring. Introverts are more sensitive to external stimuli, so, for example, social interaction tends to drain their energy even when it’s fun. (Conversely, most Extraverted personality types are energized by socializing.) As an Introvert, if you don’t get the restorative downtime that you need, you may become overwhelmed and less and less able to enjoy life or be your best self. Don’t let that happen! Instead, take a little time to examine what’s going on and see if you need to restore balance.
Why Are You So Busy?
An obvious way to restore your energy is to scale back your activity levels and make more time for rest. But what can you cut out of your schedule, realistically? That’s up to you, but let’s break it down into some broad categories to help you make good choices.
Necessary Activities
Things like work, school, and life maintenance chores are pretty essential, and that kind of stuff can really add up in terms of time and stress. Many of us are our own primary caregivers when it comes to activities like cooking, laundry, cleaning, and household maintenance. It’s probably not a good idea to skip any such things that keep your life functional. But that doesn’t mean that there isn’t some wiggle room.
Is work stressing you out? Our Job Burnout test will help you assess the situation and give you critical insights.
Calm down, Ferris, I’m not advising you to fake sickness to get a day off. But could you find some extra time by changing how you do necessary things? Could you stretch out your cleaning and laundry schedule a bit without things getting too gross? Could you prep a week’s worth of meals on Sunday night, so that you don’t have to cook during the week? (Or, if your health and budget allow, could you have food delivered more often?) There’s also the question of whether something is truly necessary, which brings us to…
Obligations
Doing your laundry is necessary(-ish). Doing someone else’s laundry isn’t (although it’s super nice of you). Whether it’s care given or time spent, we make some energy expenditures because we feel that we should. And chances are there are probably good reasons why we’ve developed such routines. Perhaps you’re splitting up chores with a partner and feel obligated to do your fair share. Or maybe you visit an older relative because of how much it means to them, even though you’re not always into it.
But that said, it’s up to you to decide whether obligatory interactions and activities are absolutely necessary. You could probably get away with doing some of them less often or for a shorter period of time, at least temporarily, until you have time to rest up and get the zip back in your step. Only you can know which obligations are open for change – what would happen if you skipped Uncle Al’s birthday party? There may be consequences, but it’s still up to you.
Do you feel in control or more like external forces govern you? You might be surprised at what our Locus of Control Test reveals about what’s in charge of your life.
Discretionary Activities
This is the area of life ripe for adjustment if you are starting to feel overwhelmed and drained by too much activity. There may be things that you’re so used to doing that they’ve taken on inflated importance – or simply become habits. But it’s worth combing through your daily and weekly routines in search of activities that you could modify. Haircuts, grocery shopping, lawn care, whatever. Ask yourself if the time off would be worth doing something less often and what the harm would be if you did.
Discretionary activities often require relatively minor amounts of time and energy individually – but they can add up cumulatively. Like when you go out to run a few errands, and it eats up your whole afternoon. You probably feel kind of relieved when you get home. But what if you cut enough little things out of your week that you had that whole afternoon free to do whatever you wanted? That could be awesome fun. Speaking of fun…
Desired Activities
It’s not just habits and obligations that can burn up your energy and put you on a path to Introvert burnout. Sometimes you’re drained because of all the fun you’re having. Maybe you party a little too late on too many school nights. Maybe you recreate or do fun personal projects all weekend and just don’t get enough “downtime” before work on Monday. No shade – it’s wonderful to live an engaged, active, joyful life. Buuut, you’re an Introverted personality type, and you may not be built to go all the time without suffering some internal friction (insert overheated engine metaphor).
Have less fun? Nah, I’m not going to tell you that. But pay attention to how you feel inside when you’re in a very active phase – and to the effect that it’s having on important areas of life, like personal relationships and job performance. Exhaustion can present unhealthy risks, even if you become exhausted by doing healthy, happy things. (It’s not great to mess up at work or get snippy with loved ones.) You might consider trimming away a few desired and enjoyable activities to give yourself time to rest, recharge, and stay at your best in all areas of life.
Rest Isn’t Rejection
For most Introverts, one of life’s main energy expenditures is social interaction. It can be healthy, enjoyable, and still tire you out. But getting time away from others can be a delicate matter, because being less social can make other people feel rejected or make you feel guilty. For example, when you get home from work and just want some time to yourself, it’s not always comfortable to seek space from loved ones.
There isn’t always a quick fix for divided motivations – you need private time, and you love spending time with your friends and family. But what amounts to a scheduling conflict doesn’t have to be an emotional conflict, and communication is key to finding a compromise that works. For many Introverted personality types, understanding your own energy flow and regeneration cycle is a critical step. You like being social, but you sometimes need to balance it with some private time to recharge.
Learning to communicate that in a way that makes other people feel loved and valued is also an important step in social growth. You can consider directing people to our resources (such as this article) to learn about Introversion and the needs of Introverted personality types – including yours. Sharing that knowledge can help you explain your needs in the proper context. It can help you make it clear that one reason why Introverted personalities need some alone time is that recharging their energy lets them enjoy others even more.
Restorative Activity
An odd thing can happen when you’re resting – people think that you’re being lazy. Watching TV or scrolling through your phone may seem wasteful, and in truth, electronic entertainment and social media can be quite addictive, sucking up more of your time than you intend. It pays to be deliberate with your time when you’re in “rest mode,” and rejuvenation can take many forms. When you’re recovering from social interaction, privacy and self-determination can be very restorative, even while you’re doing something active. (It’s mental rest more than physical rest.)
To restore your mind, consider engaging in a task where you’re free to do as you like – by yourself. It could be something creative, like an art or home improvement project, or something physical that lets you quiet your mind, like golf or gardening. (I find mowing the lawn to be soothing after a busy week.) You may be surprised by how refreshing and restful certain satisfying activities can be, if they’re not too intense.
Escape to Peace
Let’s be real – carving out a little quiet or private time for yourself at home can be difficult if you share your space with family. When you love people deeply, it can be uncomfortable to explain why you don’t want to be around them for a while. It may take time to create a compromise that works, but when you can’t get the rest that you need at home, you can seek it elsewhere. A vacation for one might stress your social bonds (and bank account) too much, but there are other options.
A lone walk to calm your mind and just follow your own thoughts can be very rejuvenating, especially if you can get out in nature. So can perching in the corner of a coffee shop with your earbuds in, reading a book or watching your favorite show. (Personally, I find water very soothing, be it a fountain, river, or lakeshore waves.) Going for a drive by yourself can also be a good way to find some peace – preferably in an outlying area, not city traffic. The point is, you’re allowed to go off by yourself now and then to relax.
Final Thoughts: It’s Not an Introverted World
Daily life calls the vast majority of us to shoulder a certain amount of dynamic activity, social interaction, and stress. Chances are we Introverted personalities are up for that challenge, managing to do great things and enjoying most of it in the process. Introverts are doers, and I don’t mean to suggest that doing less is ideal. But everyone has limits, and when we exceed our limits, we may not be living life to the fullest.
Our energy is a cycle, and Introverted personalities need the yin to have a strong yang. Meaning, our highest energy phases depend on the regenerative ones. So, in a way, rest is an investment in being energetic – you gotta fuel your tanks before blasting off. Finding the time and space to do so can require some cleverness and social tact, but it’s an essential part of life.