ISFJ personality types (Defenders) possess a unique blend of empathy and practicality. This mix makes ISFJs into the trustworthy, supportive, and caring individuals that anyone would be lucky to have as a friend or loved one. These are the people who will always remember your birthday, make sure that you’re prepared for your upcoming travel plans, and generally ensure that nothing falls through the cracks.
Their reliable and compassionate character traits often make ISFJs the invisible glue that holds a group of friends, a family, or a team together. However, these admirable traits can also lead them to prioritize others over themselves too frequently. While ISFJs recognize the importance of focusing on themselves, doing so may challenge their strong impulse to put others first. And when ISFJ personalities discount their own needs, they give a lot of fuel to their inner voice – that voice we all have in our heads that influences our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. (Check out our article “Exploring the Conversations We Have with Ourselves: How Self-Talk Impacts Us” for a deep dive into this inner voice.) For ISFJs, whether their inner voice is a positive or negative influence depends on how well people with this personality type manage their mental well-being and their ability to set boundaries.
Inner dialogue is a powerful tool that can work for or against ISFJs. We’ve created a handy guide – the Defender Guide to Inner Peace – to help these personalities create a positive relationship with their inner voice.
Striking a balance between their own needs and their compassionate acts toward others is a crucial step for ISFJ personalities to take. Otherwise, their inner voice, driven mostly by a sense of duty and responsibility, might discourage them from pursuing their own personal goals, especially if those goals are in conflict with the needs of the people they care about. Putting their own goals and needs on the back burner for a prolonged period of time can result in an inner imbalance for ISFJs, which can subsequently lead to harsh self-criticism and self-chastisement.
In this article, we’ll explore how different types of self-talk tend to show up for ISFJs. Getting a good handle on these different forms of self-talk and knowing how negative self-talk can disrupt their mental well-being may help people with the ISFJ personality type establish healthier personal boundaries. Healthy boundaries allow ISFJs to flourish in every area of life as they learn to pursue their own dreams and goals. And given ISFJs’ altruistic nature, everyone will benefit from that.
The Impact of Self-Talk on ISFJs
There is a reason why ISFJ personality types are called Defenders. True to their commitment to support and care for others, ISFJ personalities are deeply dedicated to defending their loved ones against any adversities that may come their way. These types possess strengths that extend even further beyond this dedication to nurturing and caring for others. With their can-do attitude, ISFJs put in the effort and hard work to go above and beyond and get things done.
For ISFJs, the inner dialogue that they have with themselves often becomes a powerful tool, strengthening their mental fortitude and increasing their resilience and determination to keep going.
When facing situations that seem overwhelming at first glance, positive self-talk enables ISFJs to reinforce their belief in their own capabilities and reminds them of their goals and purpose. This often takes the form of positive affirmations, such as “I can totally handle this” or “You’ve overcome difficult issues before – you can do it again.” Positive self-talk tends to echo the kind and loving messages that ISFJ personalities would share with the people around them.
If the task at hand proves to be a bit more complicated than originally expected or the decisions to be made become more daunting than anticipated, ISFJs can rely on their instructional self-talk. This type of self-talk translates their practical thought process into a step-by-step guide on how to navigate the situation. Overwhelming tasks transform into smaller, more manageable steps that ISFJ personalities know how to tackle.
While ISFJs are busy chipping away at those more manageable steps, though, they can sometimes lose sight of the greater goal and vision. They might start to feel that their contributions don’t matter much or that their work isn’t appreciated, as it seems to them that no one notices the smaller steps that they’re so diligently taking. This is when ISFJ personalities can turn to their motivational self-talk: a personalized pep talk reminding them of their personal value, the significance of their efforts, and the positive impact that they make on others.
These three types of self-talk can truly strengthen ISFJ personalities’ mental toughness, helping them process information and make decisions as well as encouraging them to keep going with their work.
Despite the positive impacts that these forms of self-talk can have on ISFJs, these personalities may have more difficulty when they find themselves being challenged by other people. As good as they are at defending the people they care about, ISFJs may struggle to extend the same protective measures to themselves. In our “Doubts” survey, ISFJs are among the least likely personality types to say it’s easy for them to stand up for themselves when people challenge them. In such situations, it becomes especially important for ISFJs to guard against the rise of negative self-talk.
Feel like your inner voice is often criticizing? We created a small but mighty guide on understanding your inner critic – the Defender Guide to Inner Peace – to help ISFJ personalities experience a new level of self-acceptance, balance, and personal fulfillment.