Mediators (INFP) and Self-Talk: Transforming Negativity into Creative Opportunities
While Mediator (INFP) personality types may appear quiet on the outside, their inner lives are anything but. In our previous article on self-talk, we explored how most people (97%) have an inner voice. For Mediators – introspective individuals who tend to reflect deeply on their thoughts and feelings – this holds even truer at 99%.
It’s possible to work with your inner voice rather than against it. We’ve written a small but powerful guide detailing how to create a collaborative partnership with your inner voice – the Mediator Guide to Inner Peace.
Mediators have a rich inner world where ideas, thoughts, and dreams flow endlessly. This mental realm allows them to reflect deeply on themselves and the world around them. Within that vivid imagination, it is easy for them to lose themselves in daydreams, inventing stories, righting wrongs, and fixing the world. Entire new conversations can unfold in their mind. Reality need not always interfere.
As with many strengths, when relied upon too heavily, this gift can turn into a burden. Mediators’ source of creativity can become a breeding ground for self-doubt when their imagination turns to the negative. In our “Thought Patterns” survey, when asked whether they often get stuck in negative thoughts, out of all the personality types, Mediators say “yes” most often.
Mediator personalities with a Turbulent Identity (INFP-T). The aim of this article, therefore, is to create greater awareness of Mediators’ self-talk and to help these personalities recognize when they are getting stuck in a negative spiral. Once they have established this awareness of their self-talk patterns, they can start the journey to learning about coping skills.
First things first: we will take a look at how Mediator personalities are impacted by self-talk and how different types of self-talk manifest in their lives. We’ll explore some specific patterns in negative self-talk that Mediators tend to follow and the reasons why breaking out of these patterns would greatly benefit their overall well-being.
The Impact of Self-Talk on Mediators
Mediator personality types, with their Intuitive and Feeling traits, trust their heart when making decisions. The majority of Mediators answer “Heart” when asked in our “Head vs. Heart” survey whether they mostly listen to their heart or to their mind when making important choices. Their self-talk can either positively reinforce that intuition or create doubt and indecision. Thoughts impact feelings and, ultimately, behavior. Positive, instructional, and motivational self-talk can have a positive impact on Mediators.
Self-talk and the positive and negative types of self-talk are outlined in more detail in our article “Exploring the Conversations We Have with Ourselves: How Self-Talk Impacts Us.”
A Virtuous Cycle of Positive, Instructional, and Motivational Self-Talk
When Mediators use self-talk constructively, it reinforces their intuition and helps them confidently make decisions that are aligned with their values. Luckily, most Mediators don’t shy away from a bit of self-reflection to learn how to apply this in real time. When they dive in, these personality types can really harness the power of their inner dialogue to propel themselves forward.
Positive self-talk bridges the gap between inspiration and action, leading to personal growth, meaningful accomplishments, and a fulfillment of Mediators’ purpose. It’s the holy grail of self-improvement.
Instructional self-talk can be turned into Mediators’ ally, helping them organize their thoughts, create plans, set clear objectives, and provide themselves with step-by-step instructions, ultimately priming them to take action.
This is the moment when motivational self-talk is ready to kick in, inspiring Mediators to actively pursue their passions and make a positive impact on the world. Motivational self-talk fuels their inner fire and provides the determination to overcome obstacles and push through hurdles. This is needed at times, as Mediators have a tendency to feel a burst of inspiration, only to overthink and easily talk themselves out of pursuing their goals before taking even the first step.
To close this loop and create a virtuous circle – the opposite of a negative spiral – Mediators can incorporate positive affirmations to strengthen their determination to keep going. Mediators can remind themselves of their strengths, empower themselves to approach challenges, unlock their full potential, and bring their unique gifts and perspectives to the world. One way to unlock positive self-talk is to approach inner conversations with empathy, a quality that Mediators possess in abundance. For a change, though, they’ll have to grant it to themselves.
And that’s where people with this personality type might struggle and open the door to negative self-talk. While Mediators are known to be sensitive, empathetic people, they often find it difficult to extend this grace to themselves. Of all the personality types, they are the harshest critics of themselves, as shown in our “Criticism” survey – Mediators are tremendously more critical of themselves than they are of others.
Feel like your inner voice is always criticizing? We created a small but mighty guide on befriending your inner critic – the Mediator Guide to Inner Peace – to help Mediator personalities experience a new level of harmony and confidence.
These negative views create a vicious circle, a downward spiral of self-criticism that further discourages Mediators, leading to more self-blame and frustration, which only deepens their discouragement, and so on and so forth. To break that cycle, Mediators should know the three most common pitfalls of negative self-talk that they are prone to experiencing. When they start to recognize the traps, there is a bigger chance that they will learn how to prevent themselves from falling into them.
There is a lot to be said about the imaginative mind of Mediator personalities. It’s one of their hidden strengths. However, this talent can also create some unintentional challenges for them. Their imagination is so vivid that it is easy for them to get lost in it. Mediators can create an inner maze that they cannot find their way out of. Creating worst-case scenarios is one of the blocks that populates this maze.
Mediators are fantastic at creating what-if scenarios and subsequently dreaming up the worst-case outcome – something that is also called catastrophizing. The more time that they spend thinking about such an outcome, the more real it becomes in their mind. It’s not surprising that this tendency can lead to decision paralysis as a result. After all, if you know the worst-case outcome and believe that it’s likely to happen, why would you take action and risk it becoming true?
Additionally, Mediator personalities are prone to letting a single piece of information provide the whole picture, magnifying their fear of a pending catastrophe. When one thing goes wrong, they often tend to feel like everything will go wrong. This feeling is not exclusive to Mediator personality types, based on our “Handling Stress” survey – however, that does not lessen its impact on the way that Mediators talk to themselves.