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Personality Type and Love Language: Protagonists (ENFJs)

Traci 22 comments

The mutual exchange of loving expression is at the core of every romantic relationship. It’s what keeps couples together, confident in their connection and secure in their mutual attachment. If this communication breaks down, doubts can start to erode the glue of emotional certainty.

One of the best ways to protect a relationship from suffering this kind of destabilizing ambiguity is to make sure that each person understands the other’s love language.

Love language refers to the distinct ways that people express their love, both in words and actions. We won’t discuss the ins and outs of all of them here, so make sure to read this article.

For some people, it can be uncomfortable to actually say those three little words that carry so much meaning. But for others, like Protagonists (ENFJs), expressing their love often feels as natural and effortless as breathing.

This openness has a lot to do with their Extraverted personality trait, but Protagonists are also strongly influenced by the combination of their Intuitive and Feeling traits. The ease with which they approach emotional vulnerability is a direct reflection of these three traits.

So which love languages are people with this personality type likely to rely on for expressing their love? And how might they appreciate having love shown to them in return? While it’s impossible to speak for every individual Protagonist out there, the study of personality theory allows us to narrow it down to the most likely possibilities.

How Protagonists Show Love

Protagonists are idealistic and empathetic people at their core. When they’re in love, there’s not much that they won’t do to support their partner and make sure that they feel good in the relationship. Their love language preferences reflect these core aspects of their personality. Expect Protagonists to offer plenty of recognition and appreciation to their partner, accentuated with sincere psychological support, time and attention, and physical closeness.

Recognition and Appreciation

When it comes to relationships, Protagonists know that building up their significant other is important for keeping their connection strong and those loving feelings flowing. One of the ways that they do this is through healthy doses of recognition and appreciation. For them, it’s natural to pepper their everyday interactions with intentional expressions of gratitude and generous compliments, each of which is meant to communicate love.

Psychological Support

People with this personality type tend to be in tune with their partners. They really see them, taking note of how they feel and their energy levels. For Protagonists, it’s a natural expression of love to make themselves available if their partner needs to talk through something. In fact, they are likely to feel downright honored when their partner turns to them for emotional and psychological support.

In general, Protagonists are not only overwhelmingly empathetic but also keenly aware of when they can step in with their positive energy and help their significant other overcome difficult situations, emotional or otherwise. As Judging types, they are able to provide balanced insights that range from practical solutions to loving validation, often within the same conversation.

Time and Attention

People with this personality type are likely to describe their relationships as very intense and passionate, a vibe that is at least partially kept alive because of how much time and attention they dedicate to their significant other. They’re not exactly opposed to spending time on their own, but there’s a good chance that they just really enjoy being with the person they love.

Physical Closeness

One of Protagonists’ favorite ways of giving attention and communicating love is through plenty of physical affection. They are not shy about holding hands or tenderly touching the person they love. As the type most likely to prioritize their partner’s needs for physical closeness, they’ll likely be open to adjusting their displays of affection accordingly when expressing themselves through this love language.

How Protagonists Receive Love

Letting Protagonists know they are loved can be as easy as coming out and directly stating the obvious. “I love you” is a powerful statement that can – and probably should – be freely said in a relationship with someone with this personality type.

Just as they have a strong need to express their affection, Protagonists also have a fairly strong need to receive affection from others. While those “I love yous” are an obvious place to start, their partner will want to back up their words by reciprocating plenty of recognition and appreciation, psychological support, and physical closeness.

Recognition and Appreciation

Recognizing your significant other’s contributions to the relationship or the individual qualities that make them so uniquely awesome often takes the form of a compliment. While Protagonists value the recognition and praise that they receive from their partner, it’s the underlying sense of gratitude – and the ability to express that gratitude – that they probably value most and interpret as love.

Psychological Support

Protagonists enthusiastically provide the psychological support that their partner needs, but they also value having someone hear them out and validate their own concerns. People with this personality type are readily vulnerable, and they’ll feel their partner’s love – and likely find emotional refuge in their relationship – when this psychological support is unconditionally provided in return. Making an equal effort to be mutually supportive is one of the best ways that a Protagonist’s partner can demonstrate their love.

Physical Closeness

Physical affection is another sure way to fill a Protagonist’s metaphorical cup of loving feelings. About 76% of Protagonists – more than any other personality type – admit that physical touch positively influences how they feel about someone. If their partner wants to stoke the flames of love, they can probably be as touchy-feely as they want. And if something is lacking on this front, most Protagonists will just come out and ask for what they need – or at least drop a hint or two.

Conclusion

While it’s generally true that Protagonists are lovingly expressive in the ways described above, any given individual with this particular personality type may have distinct love language preferences. Fortunately, it shouldn’t be too difficult to bring the topic up in conversation and explore how they instinctively show their love and crave to receive it in return.

If you’re a Protagonist, or if you love one, which love language most resonates with you? Do you strongly identify with the ones we listed here, or do you prefer a different form of expression that didn’t make this list? Let us know in the comments below.

Further Reading