Personality Type and Love Language: Virtuosos (ISTPs)

Relationships can be tricky for anybody to navigate. Sure, there are undoubtedly logistical elements, like what to have for dinner or how to spend your time together. But by and large, most relationships boil down to navigating emotional ground that’s usually uncomfortable in one way or another. Some personality types are relatively “all-terrain,” willingly charging ahead through this uncharted territory with their partners. Others, like Virtuosos (ISTPs), are likely to balk at being asked to journey into the realm of feelings – even if those feelings are positive and uplifting.

This tendency can, undoubtedly, cause some problems for Virtuosos and their partners. This is why discovering their preferred love language can feel like learning how to navigate through a foreign country.

Love language refers to the subtle and not-so-subtle ways that we express our love and appreciation to the people closest to us, as well as how we prefer to receive affection in return. In this article, we discuss seven key ways that people communicate this most fundamental, yet at times confusing, feeling.

When you know your own or your partner’s love language, it’s possible to recognize affection – even when it’s implied rather than spoken aloud – and return it in a way that will be well received. This is essential for Virtuosos and their significant others.

How Virtuosos Show Love

It’s not that people with this personality type will never utter the words “I love you,” but it’s worth accepting that when it comes to expressing their deepest romantic feelings, they’re more likely to do so by other means. And that is perfectly okay.

For fiercely independent Virtuosos, focusing time and attention on their sweetheart may very well be one of their greatest displays of love. They’re also likely to reveal their sentiments of appreciation through thoughtful actions.

Time and Attention

As Explorers, Virtuosos tend to value fun, spontaneity, and novel experiences in their relationships. They’re also one of the least likely personality types to believe that they should be spending as much time as possible with their partner. So if they randomly turn to their significant other and insist that they head out together to do something unexpected and fun – that’s amore. When Virtuosos sincerely care about a relationship, they want to make every moment count. Their time and attention should never be taken for granted.

Thoughtful Actions

About 60% of people with this personality type admit that, for them, showing affection takes conscious effort, and nearly 70% say they prefer to show affection through actions rather than words. Considering the data, it’s safe to say that Virtuosos are likely to name thoughtful actions as a preferred love language. These acts of affection might vary from making their partner a cup of coffee or tea to changing their tire. Being able to fix something or do something meaningful for their significant other will likely make them feel good – both about themselves and their relationship.

How Virtuosos Receive Love

It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to think of Virtuosos as a bit skittish when it comes to love. In fact, nearly 59% of them think their level of independence and self-reliance can do more harm than good when it comes to maintaining long-term relationships. If they feel pressured to make a commitment, suffocated by the demands of a needy partner, or smothered by a situation that’s getting a little too emotional – they might just call it quits.

Letting Virtuosos know that they are loved – without making them uncomfortable – is an indispensable skill for their partners.

If you love someone with this personality type, it’s helpful to understand that, as Introverted and Thinking types, they likely feel uneasy accepting conventional displays of affection, even from their loved ones. While they may value the physical aspect of a relationship, for example, they’re one of the personality types least likely to enjoy holding hands or cuddling. They are also the least likely of all personality types to say they value and cherish their emotions (a mere 36% agree), making it highly unlikely that they’ll want to talk about them. And while they generally value their partner’s intellect, some Virtuosos may prefer to keep conversations lighthearted.

All of this isn’t to say that physical closeness, psychological support, or even cerebral stimulation are not potential love languages for people with this personality type. Our data only provides us with generalities. That’s why it’s important to pay attention to your partner – observing their patterns, tendencies, and reactions – to discern which love language they truly prefer.

As a safe starting point, it’s hard to go wrong with simple acts of recognition and appreciation.

Recognition and Appreciation

The thing about Virtuosos is that they are who they are. The greatest way to show them love is to recognize this and appreciate all their quirks.

Start by recognizing and celebrating their independent nature and lifestyle, then show them true love by not infringing upon it. Learn to recognize the ways that they demonstrate love, and appreciate their displays of affection for what they are. Acknowledge all the ways that they contribute to the relationship – how they show up, help out, and inspire fun.

To recognize and appreciate people with this personality type, it’s not necessary (and is potentially counterproductive) to shower them with praise or compliments. Instead, consider sharing a photo and bragging about their latest project on social media or going out to eat at that new restaurant they told you to try because they knew you would love it. Encourage them to take off on some grand solo adventure and send a postcard. For Virtuosos, indirect demonstrations of love and appreciation may penetrate deeper into their hearts than even the most sincerely uttered “I love you.”

Conclusion

Communicating our feelings through actions rather than words is common, even for more openly expressive personality types. But interpreting these expressions of love, especially if they aren’t exactly accompanied by obvious verbal cues, can be a bit of a challenge. That is why, for those who love them, discovering a Virtuoso’s preferred love language may feel like finding the key to an otherwise indecipherable dialect.

And for Virtuosos, recognizing their love-language preferences can feel like discovering a useful communication hack that helps them keep the interest and passion alive within their relationship while fostering the freedom that they require.

If you’re a Virtuoso, or if you love one, what love language most resonates with you? Be sure to let us know in the comments.