Thinking personality types are rational, and Feeling personality types are emotional. If you believe that, you’ve got a lot to learn about personality types – and people. Those traits represent ends of a behavioral spectrum, and realistically, everyone shows some of both (though possibly much more of one than the other). But let’s get to the point of this piece:
- Knowing someone’s personality traits helps you understand them, which is useful in pretty much any context.
- There are certain strong correlations between people’s personality traits and the behaviors that they display.
- Observing someone’s behavior can allow for some reasonable assumptions about their personality traits.
Of course, you can find out someone’s personality type by asking them to take our free test or by using our various personality Type Guesser tools. But there’s something to be said for developing the knowledge to accurately estimate someone’s personality traits on your own. Here, we’ll help you learn to spot the Thinking and Feeling personality traits based on specific, real-world factors. (Check out this article on doing the same for Introversion and Extraversion.)
A Sentimentality Gap
Everyone loves getting gifts, but we can spot a relative difference between Thinking and Feeling personalities by what types of gifts they’re likely to prefer getting (at least when it comes to Valentine’s Day – take the survey here). Less than half of Thinking types say they’d prefer a sentimental gift over a functional one, versus more than 80% of Feeling types who say the same. Not exactly a concrete test, but the fact that Feeling types prioritize demonstrations of sentiment in this way is something that you can watch for.
Also related is that only a third of Thinking types say they’d rather be loved than respected, versus three-quarters of Feeling types – a bigger gap than the gift preference above. Sentimentality is indeed in play when it comes to spotting the difference between these personality types. When it comes to saying goodbyes, 71% of Thinking types say they keep it as quick as possible, while 62% of Feeling types say they try to savor the moment. To top it off, about one in five Thinking personalities say they cry often or very often, versus more than half of Feeling personalities.
So the kinds of gifts a person wants (and, possibly, gives), whether they seem to seek love or respect, how they say goodbye, and how often they cry are all things that you can observe to try to guess whether someone is a Thinking or Feeling personality. But we’re just getting started.
Interacting with Others
How people see themselves and others can be partly based on the situation, but it’s also guided by their personality traits, and that’s something that you can pay attention to. For example, about 70% of Feeling personalities say they give others a lot of compliments, versus just 26% of Thinking personality types. If you spend much time around someone, take note of how often they compliment other people (including you), regardless of how friendly they may otherwise be.
Author’s note: Compliments are a major T/F indicator, in my personal experience. My Thinking friends and I share humor, sympathy, kindness, and honesty, but few direct compliments. It’s like it just doesn’t occur to us very often. With my Feeling friends, it’s almost the opposite – compliments are common, almost reflexive.
Everyday generosity may also be a way to evaluate whether people are Thinking or Feeling personality types. According to our research, 77% of Feeling types say that sharing material things with others is instinctive to them, versus 35% of Thinking types. (Yeesh, my fellow Thinking types and I are starting to look bad here.) Overapologizing is another indicator: 71% of Feeling types say they often apologize for things that aren’t their fault, versus 29% of Thinking personalities.
People’s general outlook on others – if they share it with you – may also indicate whether they’re likely to have a Thinking or Feeling personality. For example, 72% of Feeling types say they generally have faith in people, versus 33% of Thinking types.
It’s worth remembering that there are always exceptions and minorities in any group, so no behavior can tell you for certain whether someone has the Thinking or Feeling trait. But giving a lot of compliments, instinctively sharing material things with others, apologizing excessively, and generally having a lot of faith in people are all behaviors to add to your “T/F test list.” Let’s look at a couple more things before we finish.
Head vs. Heart
Every personality type expresses both rationality and emotion, and how they prioritize those personality aspects may indicate whether they have the Thinking or Feeling trait. However, getting a decent picture of how any given person expresses their traits requires being around them a lot, in many different situations. You can’t just look at one or two instances and make an assumption. (Well, you can, but it’s not likely to be accurate.) It’s best to build a picture over time – and to know what to look for.
For example, 65% of Feeling personalities say they mostly listen to their heart versus their head when making important decisions. Only around 7% of Thinking types say the same. That’s a stark difference, but it’s not the kind of thing that you can always see from the outside – it’s tough to gauge how people make decisions. However, one thing that you can watch for is how someone views the way that other people make decisions.
We’ve found that 81% of Thinking personalities say they have a hard time relating to people who let their emotions guide them, versus 22% of Feeling personalities. So if you notice that someone is often critical of others’ “emotional decision-making,” it may indicate that they’re a Thinking personality. Likewise, if someone seems generally accepting and supportive of emotionally based rationales, it may mean that they’re a Feeling personality type.
Author’s note: In society, the subject of rationality versus emotionality is often colored by questionable assumptions and harsh criticisms. Let’s not let that intrude into our discussion here, as both are essential aspects of the human mind.
It’s wise to note that how someone expresses their rationality and emotion may partly depend on your relationship to them. Thinking personalities often lead with direct, critical logic, and warmth gradually develops as they come to respect and appreciate someone. Feeling personalities often lead with warmth, saving their critical honesty until they’ve developed a durable bond with someone. So, ultimately, you’ll encounter both rationality and emotion from any personality, but the timing and manner in which you do may be telling as to their traits.
Conclusion: Twice as Likely but Not Certain
So, have these facts created a picture in your mind of how Thinking and Feeling personalities behave? Be careful – there’s a fine line between absorbing personality type statistics and creating stereotypes, and there’s also a big difference between stats on paper and people in real life. It’s risky to predict people’s behavior based on their personality traits, yet seeing their behavior may reveal their traits. That might sound contradictory, but the difference is whether or not you allow people to demonstrate who they are rather than assume it. Our tests assess actual behaviors and attitudes in order to determine personality type, and so should you when making guesses about someone’s traits.
And now, you’re a little further along in developing your ability to spot personality traits in the wild. Let us leave you with a bit of final perspective: relative differences between Thinking and Feeling personalities are just that – relative. For example, Thinking personality types (57%) are about twice as likely as Feeling types (26%) to say they’re more competitive than most people. Likewise, Feeling personalities (53%) are about twice as likely as Thinking personalities (25%) to describe themselves as openly expressive through physical contact.
But in both cases, little more than half of the respondents form the majority. So it’s not very useful or accurate to view Thinking personalities as competitive or Feeling personalities as physically demonstrative, even though the related statistics might help you guess someone’s traits. Completing the picture of personality comes from communication, understanding, and experience. One of the best uses for personality type theory is to facilitate a deeper connection, so use this knowledge wisely, friends!