Objective self-awareness can be difficult, even though we can literally read the mind of the subject (ourselves). Knowing what’s in the minds of other people can be even harder, and often we must make do with general impressions. Other people’s feelings and motives may never be fully revealed to us, but a little insight goes a long way. Successfully “reading” other people can help us relate to them, communicate effectively, and avoid problems.
Some of us may naturally be better at perceiving the thoughts and motives of others, even when they are not verbally sharing what’s inside their heads. To see which personality types would report more or less proficiency along these lines, we asked if people agreed with the statement “It is difficult for you to read other people’s feelings and motives.”
Overall, the majority disagreed, with only 27% of all personality types reporting that they find it difficult to read other people’s feelings and motives. This makes sense, as being able to relate to other people can be an incredibly useful skill. Most of us work to develop this skill, either consciously or unconsciously, as we grow and learn. There are many routes to accurate perceptions of other people, from shrewd, logical scrutiny to natural emotional empathy. We can assume that the majority of respondents have honed some type of ability to read people, but let’s also look at possible reasons why some personality types might have more trouble with it than others.
There were interesting differences among the types. While a majority of all types disagreed that they have trouble reading people, some types agreed notably more than others. We also saw some pretty obvious relationships between agreement and certain traits.
Roles
Analysts (36%)
The Thinking trait was the biggest influence on one’s response to this research statement (with 35% of Thinking personality types agreeing, versus 18% of Feeling types), and this Role demonstrates that fact clearly. Far more Analysts reported having difficulty reading people’s feelings and motives than any other Role group. While Analysts excel at planning and investigation, the subtle, emotionally-driven hearts and minds of people can be a challenge to them. A person’s emotional state of mind can best be received by empathetic attunement, and this is not always where Analysts are the strongest. Logicians (INTP) seemed to have the most trouble reading other people, with 44% agreeing. Logicians – as their name implies – are happiest when things make sense, and people’s feelings and motives don’t always make sense.
Explorers (25%)
Explorers reported the second-highest rate of agreement overall, though one personality type agreed at a higher rate than the others: Virtuosos (ISTP) (44%). Virtuosos may have more difficulty understanding other people than most types; they tend to be self-focused and absorbed in their own projects, so they may not always invest a lot of effort in connecting with others.
Explorers in general reported minimal rates of agreement, as did most types. These personalities tend to be open, receptive, and good at assessing their surroundings, including the people in their lives.
Sentinels (22%)
As with Explorers, the reported rate of agreement from the Sentinels seems to be led by one type: in this case, Logisticians (ISTJ) (41%). This personality type is supremely skilled at arranging facts to create an accurate understanding of most things. However, when dealing with people, Logisticians may not be able to get the hard data they require for accurate assessment; it’s all a matter of conjecture and “feeling things out.” In this realm, they may flounder a bit more than other types.
Overall, though, Sentinels tend to be good at cooperation, social perception, and communication. Only 13% of Consuls (ESFJ) agreed that they have trouble reading people. Consuls are extremely sociable and caring people, and they definitely have a knack for the human touch.
Diplomats (19%)
The lowest rate of agreement came from from this Role; Diplomat personality types tend to be really good at understanding other people’s feelings and motives. Their natural empathy gives them insight into others, and they relate very well on an emotional level. It’s almost as if Diplomats can vibrate like an antenna, and sense the activity within someone else’s mind. This does not come in the form of specific information; it’s more like impressions of the person’s mood and disposition. If a Diplomat asks a question of a troubled friend, they can probably begin to detect the answer just from their face.
Strategies
We should note again that most respondents did not report difficulty reading people’s feelings and motives. However, relative comparisons can be informative, so let’s examine some possible reasons behind each Strategy’s rate of agreement.
Constant Improvement (31%)
Constant Improvers agreed the most out of all Strategies. Their Introversion may make it a little tougher for them to connect with people overall; these personalities have to muster more effort when trying to relate socially. They also tend to doubt their own perceptions (even when those perceptions are solid) and spend time second-guessing themselves. This can distract them from accurately sensing feelings and motivations in other people.
Turbulent Logicians (INTP-T) agreed at the highest rate of any personality type (47%). For them, other people can be like a book – either closed and inaccessible, or perhaps open, but written in an obscure dialect. They may find it more difficult than most to understand others, which can disappoint them, as they want to.
Confident Individualism (25%)
Members of this Strategy may actually be less concerned with what’s going inside other people’s heads. These personality types are focused on their own private mental space, and are usually happy to let others be who they are. If Confident Individualists sometimes lack deep insight into other people’s feelings and motives, they aren’t usually too worried about it. They enjoy connecting with some people some of the time, but don’t always crave mutual understanding and shared experience the way other types might.
Social Engagement (22%)
While most Social Engagers reported being fairly adept at reading people’s feelings and motives, those who have difficulty might be tripping over their Turbulent Identities, such as Turbulent Entrepreneurs (ESTP-T) (40%). Their natural social inclinations lead Social Engagers to connect with people, but their concern over being socially successful can stress them out a bit. Some may get mired in worry over little things, and miss the overall picture of a person’s mental state. Most do not, however, and in many cases their social performance anxiety may drive these personalities to try harder to understand and connect with people, with good results.
People Mastery (15%)
The aptly named People Masters have minimal difficulty understanding other people’s feelings and motives. They have an innate understanding of human emotions and patterns, and a sincere desire to forge strong relationships with others. Assertive Protagonists (ENFJ-A) gave the lowest rate of agreement of any personality type (with only 10% agreeing). They make quick, accurate assessments of other people’s thoughts and feelings, and are confident in their perceptions. They are not only effective communicators and motivators, but also sensitive receivers.
Conclusions
In looking at the minority of people who agreed that they have difficulty reading the feelings and motives of other people, the correlating traits were pretty clear. The Thinking trait, Introversion, and a Turbulent Identity were consistent influences toward agreement. Those of us who reluctantly approach social matters with logic and worry are not likely to think we can accurately read other people. We may feel awkward trying to relate in ways that are less natural for us, and end up doubting our own perceptions. When there is little objective confirmation of our impressions about others, our own confidence becomes a driving factor; without it, we don’t feel sure of anything.
Those of us who are naturally more emotionally sensitive will, of course, have an easier time reading the feelings and motives of other people. If we frequently seek social contact, this ability increases through practice. Where Introverted personality types may struggle, Extraverts excel, finding new ways to connect with diverse people and sharpen their psycho-social senses.
How about you? Is it difficult for you to read other people’s feelings? Leave us a comment and let us know!