The 5 Biggest Myths about Defenders (ISFJs) That I’ve Encountered

The first (and subsequent) time I took the free personality test from 16Personalities, the results told me that I was a Turbulent Defender (ISFJ-T) (also known as “The Protector” in some circles). Being new to the personality world, I read the results thoroughly, more and more amazed by what 16Personalities knew about me (and other personality types) with every word I took in.

I was shocked by how correctly the results portrayed every seemingly minor aspect of my personality – aspects that I had never voiced before and previously didn’t have the words to articulate. (The Defender strengths identified were particularly spot on, in my opinion.) Of course, I then did what most people do after taking the free personality test. I told my friends and family about it, urging them to take it, too, so we could compare results and take a deep dive into all things personality-related.

My impromptu hunt for information in the wonderful world of personality types led to some very illuminating insights. I have a deeper understanding of myself now than ever before and can relate to those around me much better.

But speaking with my close friends and loved ones about my Defender personality type also brought up some misconceptions and stereotypes about the type that I think bear discussion today. So let’s bust some of the most common myths that I’ve heard about being a Defender, shall we? Because we are much, much more than the sum of our personality traits, and it’s time to embrace that.

Myth #1: Defender Personality Types Can’t Handle Change

Okay, so, this statement is flirting with the truth. Indeed, I don’t enjoy change, but that’s far from saying that I can’t accept it or even thrive during it.

As I’ve grown older, I’ve come to realize that it’s not change in and of itself that I’m not fond of, but rather the uncertainty that comes with it. Once I sit down and think through possible scenarios, planning for each one, I feel much better about embracing change – because it’s no longer unknown. I’ve got a plan. And plans (and the sense of responsibility that comes along with them) are my happy place, as I’m sure other Defenders reading this can relate to.

For example, when I was considering moving cities, I was nervous about the change. So I did what any diligent Defender personality would do – I made a pro and con list and mapped out all the reasons why I was excited about moving, as well as any drawbacks. Then, I visited the city. I walked around the neighborhood I would be in, scouting out any coffee shops or things that piqued my interest. When it was finally time to make the move, I was no longer leaping into the unknown, hoping that it was the right direction. I was making a calculated move and had already scoped out the area (and great work environments!), eliminating most of the unknowns and the fear alongside them.

I think this is less about Defenders not handling change and more about us preferring to have adequate time to prepare for it. Change might take up a bit more mental headspace for us than it does for our Prospecting counterparts, but that certainly doesn’t mean that we can’t adapt to change and come out thriving. We’ll just do that adapting at our own pace, thank you very much.

Myth #2: Defender Personality Types Are Shy

I’m a quiet person, and as a kid, the “shy” label seemed to follow me everywhere I went. Teachers called me shy. Friends referred to me as “the shy one.” My parents even hopped on the bandwagon. Of course, if people call you shy often enough, you’re bound to start believing it. So “shy” was a defining descriptor for me from a young age. I’m sure that other Introverted personality types can relate to what seems to be one of the most common types of misunderstandings about us. It wasn’t until I was older that I realized the subtle distinction between being truly shy and simply not having anything to say.

I remember sitting in my grade eight classroom one crisp autumn day. The teacher had just asked a question, and kids around me were frantically raising their hands in the air, begging to be picked. Although I wasn’t one of them, the teacher called on me.

I rattled off the answer, and we moved on. But that moment has always stuck with me. In my report card that year, my teacher even wrote, “Carly is very smart, and I can tell she knows the answers to my questions, but she never raises her hand.”

There were 20 other kids in that room who would have loved to share the answer. Who wanted to prove that they knew the answer. So why not pick one of them? My not sharing wasn’t due to shyness or Introversion but to having already moved on. In my mind, I knew the answer to that question and was already quietly working on the next – no need to discuss it.

To me, quiet is not synonymous with shy. Quiet people have an astute understanding that words are powerful and worth using sparingly. I believe that there’s a power in quietness that the world is just starting to tap into. I’m excited to see where that goes.

Myth #3: Defender Personality Types Can’t Think Logically

At 75%, my Feeling personality trait is fairly strong. Yes, that means that I very often think with my heart and let emotions guide my decisions – I’m not exactly a Logistician (ISTJ). But – and this is the important part – this does not happen at the expense of rationality and logic.

Like a skilled office manager or social worker, I can empathize with someone and make rational decisions from a personal or business perspective. It doesn’t have to be an either-or scenario. Let me share an example.

Right now, the town that I live in has a very hot housing market. Being the hardworking Defender personality type that I am, I’ve been saving steadily and trying to break into it for a couple of years now – with no luck. Just the other day, my grandparents’ old house came up for sale. I was elated to share this knowledge with my loved ones and knew it was meant to be mine. Emotionally, I was willing to do whatever it took to get that house that held so much sentimental value for me. Rationally, I knew it would likely sell well outside my price range. I decided to put in an offer, appeasing my emotional side, but only went in at the price point that I logically knew I could afford.

In the end, my offer wasn’t accepted, and I didn’t get the house. But I was proud of myself for staying logical and not letting my emotions put me in a situation that I wasn’t comfortable with financially.

Myth #4: Defender Personality Types Aren’t Creative

I used to tell myself that I wasn’t good at creative arts. Statements like “I’m just not good at drawing,” “I can’t paint,” and “I think I’m tone-deaf” plagued my subconscious mind.

If I picked up a new craft or instrument, I’d give myself all of 15 minutes to perfect it before declaring myself incompetent, and that’s if I was being generous.

But then, as I got older, something magical happened. It took a while, but I finally let go of my perfectionism. I gave myself permission to create for the sole purpose of creating, setting aside fantasies of future career paths and becoming the most famous Defender of all time with Beyoncé-level success, and it was pretty freeing. Suddenly, I was using knitting and crochet as a sort of meditation. So far, I’ve made a scarf, four pairs of mittens, and countless dishcloths – not bad for someone who was a self-professed “terrible knitter” just a few months prior.

One important note, if you want to try this for yourself: I’ve found it extremely helpful to see what I’m creating first. I can knit a scarf with a photo and clear instructions. But from where this Defender stands, the thought of freestyling it and whipping up a scarf without instructions is a horrifying notion. I think of my creativity as an adventure with guidelines. And if whatever I happen to be making comes with a nice, numbered list of step-by-step instructions, then all the better.

Myth #5: Defender Personality Types Can’t Say No

Full disclaimer: It’s true that, as something of a nurturer, no used to be one of the hardest words in the English language for me to say.

I’m filled up by helping people and have a strong sense of duty. I positively abhor the idea that I’m not doing everything in my power to assist others. But, over time, I’ve slowly learned to put myself first. That means saying no to things that don’t serve me, whether it’s misaligned clients as an entrepreneur, old friendships, or outings that I have no interest in going on.

You know that saying, “You can’t pour from an empty cup”? It turns out that it’s true. By saying no to certain things, I have more energy and attention to put toward the endeavors that I get to say yes to, and this focus allows me to serve people in even greater ways.

This goes hand in hand with another myth that I’ve heard floating around: Defenders always put themselves last. Yes, our altruistic nature means that we thrive on fulfilling the needs of others, but it doesn’t (always) mean that we’ve lost sight of helping ourselves.

Shattering Myths about the Defender

Debunking each of these myths about the Defender personality type has required me to step outside my comfort zone, going against other people’s assumptions and challenging my tendencies toward perfection. Had I not pushed myself to face these so-called weaknesses, my life could have taken a different path, one where I succumbed to justifications and wiped my hands of all accountability to do better. I could have let it affect my health care, my career path, or my mental health. I could have accepted that people skills and a bold, creative work ethic just weren’t for me. Though, I suppose, as a Turbulent personality type driven by perfectionist self-improvement and a strong desire to succeed, that simply wasn’t in the cards for me.

Do any of these five myths ring true to you? Have you encountered other myths on your journey through life as a hardworking Defender? We would love to hear about them in the comments below.