Ever wonder how different personality types approach romance? We did, and our “Romance [Everyone]” survey yielded some interesting data. There are a lot of commonalities between different personalities when it comes to romance – some things are just part of being human. Yet there are some interesting relative differences, too, so we thought we’d highlight a few select stats for your reading pleasure. (You can see all the juicy questions, answers, and stats if you take the survey for yourself.) Check these out.
Virtuosos (ISTPs) say they’ve had 1–3 short-term relationships, versus 83% of Logisticians (ISTJs). Generally, Logisticians like stability and Virtuosos like novelty, so it might make sense that the latter type would be likely to have more short-term relationships. (Insert joke about kissing amphibians to discover hidden royalty.)
There are relative differences on the other end of the spectrum, too, even though it’s a much smaller slice of the pie, as it were. Around 4% of Mediators (INFPs) say they’ve had 10 or more short-term romantic relationships, versus about 12% of Debaters (ENTPs). Both numbers are quite small, but as a relative ratio…heyyy (wink wink) to the Debaters. Let’s, uh, move on.
Turbulent and Assertive personalities, as seen in the chart above. Turbulent types are more prone to doubt and worry, and they tend to be much more sensitive to risk. That mindset can easily affect their perceptions of romantic relationships and partners, potentially making them more reactive to minor triggers or even causing them to misinterpret harmless things. No joking on this one, because jealousy is a really crummy feeling. If you’re dealing with this, we hope that you can work to build communication and trust with your partner.
Oh, and the personality types most and least likely to agree are Entrepreneurs (ESTPs) (52%) and Executives (ESTJs) (36%), respectively. Average agreement is about 44%, with most types pretty close to that number.
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Thinking personality types are likely attuned to intellect the most, while Feeling types most notice kindness. Those preferences might reflect what people with those traits often value, admire, and aspire toward themselves. Kind or smart…tough choice. Why not both? (I’m kind of smart, if you were wondering.)
But what about that “other” column, hmm? Here’s a fun idea – tell me in the comments below what quality not listed in the chart above is most likely to make someone stand out to you as attractive. Is it wealth? Hygiene? Sense of humor? Dope personal style? Sense of responsibility? Ferocious backgammon skills? What’s your thing? (The weirder, the better.) Fess up!
Defenders (ISFJs) (about 47%) and Executives (about 78%). Perhaps that has to do with the communication styles of these two personalities. Defenders don’t usually find it easy to be blunt or confrontational, whereas Executives tend to be relatively forthright – they’ll let you know when they don’t like something.
There’s nothing wrong with either approach – one favors harmony and the other honesty – but most of us probably prefer a balance of both those qualities. Have you ever been broken up with, and if so, did the person sit on it for a while or just suddenly tell you?
Introverts and Extraverts. More than half of Logicians (INTPs) let the other person start things, compared to about 15% of Commanders (ENTJs). Very few respondents of any type say they jump right in, but a few do. How long do you wait to ask someone out, and what, if anything, holds you back from asking right away?
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Consuls (ESFJs) (a little over half). Those two personality types have some similar traits, but just one or two personality traits can make a big difference, partly because it changes how other traits are expressed. How people approach others (and how comfortable they are doing so) is heavily influenced by their personality traits.
So keep in mind that the people least likely to ask you out aren’t necessarily the ones who are least interested in you, and vice versa. Uh oh, did I just open up a can of worms?
Campaigner (ENFP) personalities are most open to having long-distance relationships, with almost eight out of 10 agreeing. On the other end of the spectrum, we see that about four out of 10 Entrepreneurs agree. Perhaps imagination allows Campaigners to feel a strong connection remotely, but Entrepreneurs connect more through immediacy and tangibility.
Overall agreement among all types was about 68%, but just because people have tried long-distance relationships, or are willing to try them, doesn’t mean that they prefer them. Yet some might for their own reasons. What about you? Let us know in the comments below!
Conclusion
All right, we’ll wrap things up now, but don’t think for a second that you have the complete picture about personality types and romance. We didn’t cover every part of this survey here, so if you want to explore it fully, take the survey and see all the data by following the links above. You can also use our premium Relationship Tools & Assessments to take a deeper dive into this important part of your personality.