Understanding Loneliness: A Personality Type Perspective

Loneliness is an uncomfortable, empty feeling that has troubled human beings for millennia. But even though this sensation is deeply ingrained in human nature, as we are biologically hardwired to seek out belonging and social connection, it wasn’t until the 1800s that the word “loneliness” was even commonly used in the English language.

Over the past two centuries, due to a variety of drastic changes to our social and economic structures, in addition to many technological advancements, the number of people who experience loneliness has increased all over the world. In fact, it is now so widespread that a recent Meta-Gallup survey found that at least 24% of adults worldwide report feeling very or fairly lonely. To put that into perspective, this means that more than a billion human beings struggle with feelings of loneliness.

It can be hard to describe just how heavily loneliness can weigh on the soul. Being lonely might feel like an uncomfortable pit in a person’s stomach that they just can’t get rid of. It might make someone feel disconnected or numb or out of place. People who are lonely often say they feel like, if they were to disappear, no one would care, or like they are carrying all of the worries and hardships that they face on their own.

Despite these common themes, in our “Loneliness” survey, 81% of respondents say they don’t think that most of their friends experience loneliness in the same way that they do. That is a lot of people who feel alone in their loneliness. But these experiences are not uncommon. Loneliness is a global phenomenon that transcends cultures and borders.

Feelings of loneliness can be investigated from a variety of different perspectives, but in this article, we will take a look at loneliness in the context of personality. We will first delve into how certain personality traits might leave some people more vulnerable to feeling lonely. Then we will describe how each of the Roles – Analysts, Diplomats, Sentinels, and Explorers – might experience loneliness and the many feelings that it encompasses or how they might be shielded from it due to the traits that they share. Lastly, we will discuss why all this talk about loneliness matters and why there is absolutely no shame in needing genuine connection to get by.

Loneliness and Personality Traits

Loneliness can be thought of as the distress or discomfort that occurs when there is a gap between a person’s desire for social connection and the social connections that they have available to them. While loneliness is indeed a universal emotion, different people experience it at different frequencies and intensities. One key factor that plays into these disparities is a person’s personality type. Certain traits can heighten one’s susceptibility to feelings of loneliness, while other traits can make some people more resilient to it.

According to our “Loneliness” survey, the trait that is by far the most likely to impact whether or not someone feels lonely is Turbulence. In the survey, we ask people how often they feel lonely. We see that 67% of Turbulent individuals say they feel lonely often or very often, compared to 37% of Assertive personality types.

This might be because Turbulent personality types often perceive their environments and interactions through a more self-critical lens, resulting in heightened emotional sensitivity and reactivity. This can cause Turbulent individuals to be more self-conscious and to intensely focus on their imperfections, which might lead them to feel isolated, misunderstood, and lonely.

On the other hand, Assertive personalities are generally more self-confident and are often able to maintain a strong sense of personal satisfaction regardless of external circumstances, which might better shield them from feelings of loneliness.

When it comes to the other personality traits, our “Loneliness” survey shows the following tendencies:

Personalities who are Introverted are more likely than personalities who are Extraverted to report frequently feeling lonely.
Personalities with the Intuitive trait are more likely than those with the Observant trait to report frequently feeling lonely.
Personalities with the Feeling trait are more likely than those with the Thinking trait to report frequently feeling lonely.
Personalities with the Prospecting trait are more likely than those with the Judging trait to report frequently feeling lonely.

However, the differences between each of these trait pairings, which range from 6 to 11 percentage points, are not nearly as large as the 30-point gap between Turbulent and Assertive individuals.

Coping with Loneliness

As we delve into how various personality traits influence one’s likelihood to feel lonely, it’s essential to remember that just because people with certain traits are more likely than others to frequently feel lonely doesn’t necessarily mean that they aren’t able to effectively cope with their loneliness.

For example, even though a larger percentage of Introverts (61%) than Extraverts (52%) say they feel lonely often or very often, it’s also the case that 69% of Introverts say they are good at coping with their loneliness, compared to only 58% of Extraverts.

We might see these distinctions because there is a huge difference between being alone and feeling lonely. Some people feel perfectly content in their solitude. Others cannot fathom being left alone with their thoughts for too long. Everyone has a different threshold for how much social connection and interaction they need to feel fulfilled and to feel like they belong.

Introverted personality types tend to find a great deal of fulfillment in their own thoughts, ideas, and reflections, making them more comfortable and familiar with solitude. Compared to Extraverts, they naturally require less social interaction to feel content. As a result, they might be better equipped to manage periods of loneliness.

Extraverted personality types, on the other hand, tend to thrive on the interactions and energy that being around other people can provide, so when they’re alone, they might feel more uncomfortable, out of their natural element, or perhaps lonely.

Interestingly, when it comes to personality traits, Introverted personalities, Thinking personalities, Judging personalities, and Assertive personalities are significantly more likely to say they are good at coping with their loneliness. Similarly, Intuitive types are just slightly more likely to say they are good at coping with loneliness.

While some very interesting connections can be made between individual personality traits and feelings of loneliness, we have to keep in mind that every personality trait that a person has interacts with their other traits. Ultimately, they all work together to impact whether someone is more or less susceptible to feeling lonely and how well they are able to cope with it.

Loneliness and Roles

Because of the complex and interconnected nature of human personalities, as we move forward, we will take a look at how various Roles might experience and deal with feelings of loneliness.

Now, you might find yourself wondering, “What is a Role?” Roles are clusters of personality types that share two key personality traits. There are four Roles, and we’ll explore each of them below.

For some people, their shared traits might shield them from feeling lonely. For others, their traits might leave them more vulnerable to experiencing a sense of isolation and disconnection.

INTJ (Architect), INTP (Logician), ENTJ (Commander), and ENTP (Debater) personality types. These personalities all share the Intuitive and Thinking personality traits.

About 54% of Analysts say they feel lonely often or very often. But out of all the Roles, it is Analysts who claim to be the most adept at coping with and maintaining control over their loneliness.

There are a few reasons why Analysts are generally more comfortable with the heavy feeling of loneliness. For one, these Thinking personality types tend to lead with their rationality. Consequently, instead of wallowing when they feel lonely, they might approach their loneliness as a problem to be solved or a challenge to be overcome. As Intuitive personality types, Analysts might also regularly use their busy mind to escape loneliness. They thoroughly enjoy exploring their thoughts and getting swept away by their imagination, which almost never fails to keep them entertained.

Overall, Analysts are the most likely Role to be perfectly content with being left to their own devices. However, this doesn’t negate their need for social connection. They are just more particular about the company that they keep, as they tend to only find true belonging and connection with people who stimulate their intellect, value depth in conversation, and genuinely have a desire to understand them.

Diplomats

The Diplomat Role is made up of INFJ (Advocate), INFP (Mediator), ENFJ (Protagonist), and ENFP (Campaigner) personality types. These personalities all share the Intuitive and Feeling personality traits.

At 63%, Diplomats are significantly more likely than other Roles to say they feel lonely often or very often. They are also the least likely Role to say they are in control of their loneliness.

A variety of factors can make Diplomats particularly susceptible to loneliness. For one, these Feeling types tend to be very in tune with their emotions, making them more vulnerable to the heaviness that comes with feeling lonely. Additionally, when asked in our “Social Contact” survey to describe their ideal social life, only 8% of Diplomats say they would prefer to spend most of their time alone – the lowest percentage out of all the Roles. This indicates that Diplomats crave somewhat regular social interaction.

But it is important to keep in mind that not just any social interaction will suffice for Diplomats. These personalities feel a strong, innate need to have meaningful connections in their lives, through which they can feel seen and heard and can truly be themselves. This might cause Diplomats to feel lonely even when they are surrounded by other people.

While Diplomats tend to be more prone to feeling loneliness, they also possess several traits that can help them cope with the feeling. As Intuitive individuals, they have rich internal lives filled with deep and imaginative thoughts. This can help them stay mentally stimulated even in the absence of social interaction. Many Diplomats also have a strong desire for personal growth and self-improvement. Periods of solitude can provide them with a unique and important opportunity for introspection and self-discovery, turning the potential negative of spending time alone into a positive.

Sentinels

The Sentinel Role is made up of ISTJ (Logistician), ISFJ (Defender), ESTJ (Executive), and ESFJ (Consul) personality types. These personalities all share the Observant and Judging traits.

Just 52% of Sentinels say they feel lonely often or very often, making them the least likely Role to regularly experience loneliness. They are also the second most likely Role (after Analysts) to say they are good at coping with loneliness, and they almost tie with Analysts when it comes to feeling like they are in control of their loneliness.

Many Sentinels may feel that they have control over their loneliness largely because of their Observant and Judging trait combination. These personalities find solace in structure and routine. Their schedules and plans provide them with a sense of normalcy and control in their lives. Given their Observant trait, Sentinels are also less likely to overthink when they do feel lonely – as long as they know they have some weekend plans with friends to look forward to, or whatever the case may be.

For Sentinels, a concrete future resolution to loneliness is almost as good as a present resolution. Knowing that something is coming that will solve their loneliness helps make them more resilient.

However, even though they might be better at coping with loneliness than some of the other Roles, Sentinels still desire connection and belonging. In fact, Sentinels very much value being part of a community of like-minded people, and they also crave connections that offer them stability and peace of mind, which could be why more than half of all Sentinels report that they frequently feel lonely.

Explorers

The Explorer Role is made up of ISTP (Virtuoso), ISFP (Adventurer), ESTP (Entrepreneur), and ESFP (Entertainer) personality types. These personalities all share the Observant and Prospecting personality traits.

When it comes to loneliness, 55% of Explorers say they feel lonely often or very often. They are the least likely Role to say they are good at coping with loneliness, and they are the second least likely Role to say they are in control of their loneliness, after Diplomats.

Explorers might struggle to cope with feelings of loneliness due to their Prospecting trait. These personalities tend to dislike monotony. Their desire for novel experiences might cause them to feel restless, dissatisfied, and perhaps lonely if they cannot find anyone to share new experiences with. Moreover, with their Observant trait, Explorers have a tendency to get caught up in feelings of loneliness when they do occur.

Unlike Analysts and Diplomats, Explorers have a hard time imagining a future in which they have someone to connect with. And unlike Sentinels, Explorers do not find much solace in future schedules or plans. Consequently, they might lose themselves in their loneliness when they don’t have any distractions right in front of them.

Exploring the Landscape of Your Loneliness

This article provides insight into how different aspects of our personality might shape our susceptibility to loneliness. However, despite these differences, it is important to remember that loneliness is not a personal failing or a unique affliction, but rather a complex emotional state that touches humans everywhere.

Research has shown that modern loneliness has far-reaching impacts on people’s mental and physical well-being. It is so detrimental to our health that experts have determined that the feeling of loneliness that comes from a lack of social connection is as bad for you as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. It can lead to people experiencing anxiety, depression, and substance abuse problems. It has also been linked to people having a higher risk of heart disease, stroke, arthritis, dementia, and even premature death.

When it comes to loneliness, there is more at stake than you might think. But the good news is that, even though it might not feel like it, no one is truly alone in their experience of loneliness.

Now, you might be thinking, “That is great to know, but it doesn’t exactly help me when loneliness creeps into my life like a paralyzing fog.” And you’re right. Knowing that other people also feel lonely doesn’t necessarily make the bad feelings go away.

But consider this: What if loneliness, in all its discomfort, could be transformed into an opportunity for self-discovery and growth? What if it could help you to better understand your needs, desires, and drive to connect with others?

Exploring your loneliness with an open heart and an open mind means accepting its existence without judgment. It means acknowledging your deep wounds and your need for connection – two inescapable elements of the human experience. It also means loving yourself enough to know that you do deserve the connection that you seek. Each of these aspects takes courage and vulnerability.

So if it feels right for you, we encourage you to dig deep and question the root cause of your loneliness. Is it due to a feeling of disconnection? Is someone or something missing in your life? Do you shy away from solitude, and if so, why? Exploring these questions can be challenging, but it can provide you with a better understanding of yourself and, ultimately, help you develop the healthy, meaningful connections that feed your soul.

We understand that the topic of loneliness can be daunting. We also know that hearing about other people’s experiences and sharing your own can be a crucial part of the healing journey. If you’re comfortable, we’d love to learn more about your personal experiences with loneliness. How frequently do you experience loneliness? What strategies do you use to cope? Your story might bring comfort and understanding to others in our community who are facing similar challenges. Please share in the comments below!