People with the ENFJ personality type (Protagonists) can be intense when it comes to matters of the heart – and they wouldn’t have it any other way. As true optimists and embodiments of passion, ENFJs believe their soulmates are out there somewhere, and they won’t give up until they find them. These personalities rarely settle for anything that falls short of their ideals, and their romantic relationships are no exception.

Although ENFJs may come across as outgoing or even a bit flirtatious, few of them are satisfied by fleeting attractions. Their standards are high, and they know it. In fact, this awareness might give people with the ENFJ personality type a deeper appreciation of just how rare and precious it is to feel a real spark with another person – and, in turn, just how rare and special it is when that spark grows into the steady flames of true, abiding love.

Moving Beyond the Dating Game

When they fall for someone, they tend to fall hard – and they’re not coy about it. ENFJs are among the personality types that most readily express how they feel, so they often find themselves making the first move rather than playing games or waiting for reassurance that the other person feels the same way.

In the dating world, their willingness to put themselves out there can be refreshing and perhaps a little unusual. This, along with the intensity of their passion, is incredibly appealing to many people. That said, because ENFJ personalities often make the first move, they may encounter their share of rejection as they search for a kindred spirit.

Dreaming Together

From their first date to their 50th, these personalities don’t shy away from steering the conversation toward heavier topics. ENFJs don’t just want to find out what TV shows someone watches – they want to get a sense of their partner’s dreams and aspirations and the changes they hope to make to themselves and to the world. And if their relationship deepens to the level that these personalities truly seek, ENFJs take pride in supporting their partner to make good on these dreams.

Some people with the ENFJ personality type carry this forward-looking perspective a step further, taking on their partner’s goals as their own. This can be problematic, to say the least. If they become overinvested in helping their partner, they may end up neglecting their own self-care, hobbies, and friendships. ENFJ personalities may also be at risk of pushing their partner to change their life in ways that they simply aren’t ready for.

When ENFJs carry this too far, they often find that the pressure they put on their partner to “better” themselves backfires in one of two ways. Their partner may become insecure, fearing that they aren’t good enough as they are, or they may become angry, feeling resentful of the implication that they need to change. Either way, ENFJs must learn to encourage their partner to grow without pushing too hard.

The Long Haul

Few personality types are keener than ENFJs to establish a loving commitment with their chosen partner. They take dating and relationships seriously. In fact, ENFJs are the most likely type to want to start a serious relationship with the person they fall in love with. Consequently, even in the earliest days of a relationship, these personalities tend to focus on long-term potential, and as the relationship matures, they want to do what it takes to bring that potential to fruition.

This can be a beautiful thing. ENFJs care about pleasing their partner, and their sensitivity helps them tune in to their partner’s shifting moods and desires. As long as they don’t lose track of their own needs, people with this personality type can enjoy incredibly rewarding relationships that are founded on trust, mutual support, and honesty – and, of course, love.