When it comes to how people with the ISTP personality type (Virtuosos) navigate their friendships, their social playbooks might seem a little quirky compared to the norm. ISTPs cherish alone time and personal autonomy much more than the average person does. Consequently, when they do decide to participate in some mingling, they can be very selective about who they engage with. They are like a well-kept secret – not everyone gets the privilege of being their friend.

Keeping It Spontaneous

A lot of this selectivity comes down to them simply not wanting to be bound to any particular person or activity. Forcing them to constantly commit to scheduled activities is probably the quickest way to end a friendship with someone with the ISTP personality type. As long as everyone keeps things relaxed and flexible, though, their friendships can be rich and rewarding.

ISTP personalities live in the present, enjoying whatever life brings, and feel no real obligation to shift course on account of others’ plans. If friends don’t want to do what ISTPs are doing, then they are free to go do their own thing, and they’ll hang out some other time. Sometimes their shifts in attitude can catch their friends flat-footed, but they are generally very direct about how they do and don’t want to spend their time.

People with this personality type are talented when it comes to using their abilities, and they usually enjoy a little competition. This makes their hobbies, especially the more hands-on activities, especially enjoyable with a little company, and these are usually the basis for their friendships.

They are also thoughtful, rational people. Being fairly creative individuals themselves, they often enjoy putting a new spin on their interests with people who they feel close to – but in the end, the point of sharing those ideas needs to be to take action. Musing and dreaming are well and good, but talk is cheap, and discussions on abstract or distant subjects can only hold ISTPs’ attention for so long before they decide to shift their focus to something they can do.

The Surprising Charm of Being Yourself

People with the ISTP personality type are unusually popular, almost in spite of themselves. Their interesting hobbies and sharply pragmatic nature are attractive to a remarkably broad range of people. It’s getting beneath the surface to become their true friend that is the real challenge. They may have a lot of goodwill and friendly faces to call on but only a few people who they feel truly understand them.